Highly Sensitive Person Susse Penny Wright: Registered MBACP Integrative Counsellor
 Highly Sensitive Person SussePenny Wright: Registered MBACP Integrative Counsellor 

Clingy HSP? 

Young Love 

As an HSP teenager, many may have had there fair share of relationship problems, often feeling overwhelmed and in love  then dumped after a short time and then heartbroken. I am sure many an HSP has heard those words “toughen up, don't be so sensitive and gullible”. For many an HSP teenager it can be not long before the feelings of shame creep in.  As an HSP teenager myself became aware of that big C word and the fact that because I felt too much, to easily, there might be something wrong me. The too clingy term, with a big C, soon became internalised in me, a part of me to feel shameful about and try and hide. For many this means proving that they are made of tougher stuff.  I certainly tried  not care so that I could reassure others too that I was normal like everyone else, that I did not carry the clingy virus. So maybe we learn to meet lots of people, date many a handsome lad or beautiful gal and then when  the slightest sniff of feelings of rejection come we walk away, like we never did care anyway,  detached  and nonchalant. However for me, when I did this nonchalant thing, often my feelings were very different inside, I was hurting, crying to be just me as well as crying to be with the person I had just walked away from. Also crying with shame for feeling so much.

 

Time To Reflect

However sometimes us HSP’s, as we grow older, start to understand our feelings more. If you were lucky enough, like me, to find the space within yourself to reflect on your way of relating and sensing, then you may have asked yourself eventually this following question.  Was I too in love, too gullible, to needy, to clingy?  I came to realise the answer was no, no I  just felt everything deeply. Sometimes I also felt deeply silly, deeply annoyed, deeply funny, deeply responsible, deeply flippant, as well as strange and eccentric too.

 

Attached and Autonomous

 I also became aware that I deeply felt a need for my own space, time and autonomy. I became aware that I had a deep sense of my own unique self, my soul, and connection to nature and the world as a whole, to humanity. I had a deep sense of my journey in this life and a deep connection to some of the other people I came, at times, to share this journey with. As I grew older I re-evaluated my fear of being to sensitive and dependent. I realised that I can be very sensitive and with this comes, at times, deep feelings. I realised also I have a deep sensitivity and need to be myself too, to be autonomous as well. So maybe for many a deeply feeling person it's possible to be  both deeply attached and autonomous at the same time, a dichotomy in this maybe but perfectly viable all the same.

 

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